


Family-less

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Ultimate BenPoe Rewrite One-Shots [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angry Kylo Ren, Bad Parent Leia Organa, Bad Uncle Luke Skywalker, Canon Compliant, Gen, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Sad Kylo Ren, Snoke Not Being A Dick For Once, relatively
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 02:24:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14990723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: The newly anointed Kylo Ren celebrates his twentieth Naming Day — in the First Order.





	Family-less

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It’s his first Naming Day away from his family. Away from the Jedi Order, away from everyone he’s known — except Snoke. Snoke seems to be the one being he can rely on in times like this. 

If an outsider were to look in Kylo Ren’s chambers, they would no doubt find a pitiful sight: the Master of the Knights of Ren sitting in the ruins of his chamber, once again slashed up, tears streaming down his cheeks. Some would find it bizarre. 

To Kylo Ren, it makes sense. 

He’s away from his family. And he’s coming to grips with the fact (the ironclad fact) that his mother sent him away to a man that would try to kill him, that his uncle even tried to kill him for his association with Snoke, that none of his family really was the family he needed. And Poe’s not with him either. 

It’s for the best, he supposes. For Poe’s own good. Kylo still loves him with all his heart, but it was for the best Poe was left behind. To keep him safe. It wasn’t his problem; Poe had no place in this story of a runaway. 

He has to regain his breath. His composure. His control. 

It’s splashing cold water on his face that Kylo can observe how his face is. His eyes haven’t gone yellow like a Sith’s, not yet. Or any other Dark Sider’s. They’re still brown. Brown, like his mother’s. The fact he has his mother’s coloring makes him want to scratch his way out of his skin. The fact he has his father’s nose makes him less repulsed, but it’s still unsettling. He’s grateful that he doesn’t quite look like them otherwise. Especially his uncle. Resembling those who hurt him would just make him want to claw his way out of his body screaming. 

He heads to Snoke’s throne room with his mask on. The others respectfully stay out of his way. He removes his mask before the Supreme Leader, bows respectfully. 

Snoke rumbles, “Rise.”

Kylo does. 

“Happy Naming Day, my apprentice. Though...” Snoke squints a bit. “You don’t look happy. I suppose saying ‘happy Naming Day’ is a slight misnomer.”

Kylo realizes the throne room is made up of different decorations and ribbons, different types of relics. Then, “You put this together for me?”

”Of course I did. You are a powerful figure in the First Order, after all." A beat. “You mourn your family, don’t you?”

Kylo merely nods. It’s no use hiding his emotions from the Supreme Leader. He sees all. Kylo’s still amazed at the extent of his abilities, though he is a pretty powerful mind-reader himself. 

“They threw you away like garbage.” Snoke says. 

“I know.”

”They were scared of you. They were blood relatives, my apprentice, but hardly your family.”

”I know that now.”

”Don’t blame yourself. Your parents, who only got the title because they mated,” and here, Snoke sounds disgusted as he says the word “mated”, “Were ill-equipped to be parents, let alone mates. They knew nothing of the glories of the Force and what it could achieve. They hardly knew how to deal with a Force Sensitive child. They hardly knew how to deal with a Force Sensitive that didn’t fit into their neat little boxes of good and evil.” A beat. “What we’ve done and what’s been done to us...we are certainly not Jedi, but we are not Sith. We are Dark Siders, child. Our legacy, our anger at what’s been done to us...they can try to extinguish it but it can never truly be extinguished.”

”It can’t.”

”We’ve always endured. Few of us came from the best beginnings. I certainly did not. But we’ve endured. This is what it means to be on the Dark Side: endure.” 

Kylo feels slightly more grounded, at least. There is that. 

Snoke continues. “Shall we begin the celebration?”

”Yes.”

The different foods brought out are types that Kylo can’t say he’s tried before. They’re interesting, if unconventional. He looks over at Snoke.

Snoke nods. “They’re from the Unknown Regions, apprentice. We fled there, the remnants of a time long past, when the Empire was defeated over Jakku. We did hope that things would be different, but we were far from that lucky. We are still hunted by fanatics wishing to uphold disorder and corruption. But we will win this war. This I know.”

His Leader has such faith. Kylo envies that faith, actually. That certainty. It’s hard to find nowadays. 

“I know.”


End file.
